A quiet hero.
Antoni Hardonk is the worst MMA fighter of all time. He's also Pure Huge. How can this be? As the world collectively prepares for his inevitable departure from the UFC, it seems only fair to take a closer look at the career of a man who has selflessly sacrificed his body for the amusement of millions.
Antoni Hardonk is a rare breed of fighter, one who mixes clumsy striking, awkward footwork, childlike strength, and a porous ground game into a volatile cocktail of ineptitude. Antoni Hardonk has absolutely no answers for any opponent. He is susceptible to all styles at all times, a rare trait to find in a fighter. While the occurrence of Hardonk's failure is inevitable, the way in which it is imposed is incredibly compelling. In his short time fighting, Hardonk has managed to elevate the art of a loss to dizzying new heights.
Showing off for Joe Silva
Contrary to the hype machine, Antoni Hardonk has never been an elite kickboxing talent. While he was trained by the fearsome Ernesto Hoost, no skills were actually transferred. Hardonk quickly racked up 4 losses in 7 professional K-1 bouts, losing to the dregs of the Eastern European combat circuit. A fighter of this caliber, under normal circumstances, wouldn't even get a sniff from the UFC. But as we now know, Hardonk is far from your typical fighter.
Up until recently, the UFC had a problem on their hands. While the fights themselves were incredibly exciting, the stories surrounding them were woefully inadequate. In Hardonk, they found an answer to their prayers. His imposing physical presence gave him instant credibility, which provided his opponents with both fans and respect upon delivering the unavoidable, spectacular beatdown. Don't believe me? Of course not. The UFC has fooled you too! Let's take a look at some of Hardonk's finest moments in the UFC -
1) Frank Mir
Let's be honest. The UFC heavyweight division was pathetic at best until the recent arrival of Lesnar, Carwin, Santos, and Velasquez. Prior to that, Frank Mir was the only heavyweight worth talking about. He was a blue chip prospect, a young goliath with a ridiculous ground game and seemingly unlimited potential. Unfortunately, Mir insisted on living his life a quarter mile at a time. Upon returning from his motorcycle injury, he looked and fought like a turd sandwich. The solution? Match him up against Antoni Hardonk. Naturally, Mir rolled over Hardonk's non-existent ground game and slapped on a kimura so tight that the UFC could finally proclaim that "FRANK IS BACK!!!!" Admit it. You were excited.
A legend is born.
2) Cheik Kongo
Cheik Kongo looks like an easy sell. He's a gigantic, black Frenchman forged in a test tube to feed on the marrow of lesser men. His only problem is that he wrestles like an 8th grade girl. The solution? You guessed it... Antoni Hardonk. Kongo picked up where Mir left off and absolutely punished Hardonk with his unique brand of shoddy ground and pound. This allowed the UFC to once again build interest in a terribly flawed fighter, and we loved every minute of it.
A legend grows.
3) Pat Berry
There was plenty of talk surrounding Pat Berry upon his introduction to the UFC. Berry is an agile, scrappy kickboxer literally (literally!) fighting for food. Sadly, his career got off to a rocky start when he was choked out in under a minute by a Canadian special-ed teacher. Who could possibly get him back on track? Yeah, you can see where this is going. Antoni Hardonk had a 2 foot height and reach advantage, yet still managed to make Berry look like Muhammad Ali. Berry ends up with 2 fight of the night bonuses, gets to eat for the next 12-18 months, and produces a heartwarming story that writes itself.
A legend solidified.
Hardonk's opponents are fighters that you shouldn't given a shit about. The only reason you know their names is because Hardonk manages to lose in such spectacular fashion. Beyond Brock Lesnar's post-fighter interviews, Hardonk is far and away the most entertaining option in the UFC. It's a shame that the UFC have pinned themselves into a corner with a history of overaggressive roster trimming. Lose 2 or 3 fights in a row, and you're out on your ass. This means that Hardonk's time in the UFC is rapidly coming to an end, which is a shame, because I doubt we'll see a talent quite like him every again.
Cherish this man. As the old saying goes, you don't know what you got 'till it's gone.
Goodnight, sweet prince.
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