Big boner, big laughs.
No matter where you turn, you simply can't escape the talk of steroids in competitive society. The sports landscape was recently set ablaze by Mark McGuire's admission of guilt, and if the ensuing debate has taught us anything, it's that this topic is NOT going away. But why? Isn't this an open and shut case? What will it take for people to realize that the side effects of this epidemic far outweigh any tangible boost in performance? I'll tell you. It will take a clown. One very, very sad clown.
It's no secret that Hermes "The Clown" Franca used steroids to transform himself from a below average fighter into a slightly below average fighter in late 2005. And really, who could blame him? At that point in his career he had already been cut once from the UFC and was struggling to make ends meet. We here at Pure Huge would never begrudge a guy for trying to feed his family, but we can't help but frown upon those who lack the ability to critically assess their station in life. Granted, Hermes was able to bulk up enough to punch his ticket back into the big show, but the results of his actions proved far too costly.
It started innocently enough. Hermes lost his car keys at UFC 62. He forgot his wife's name shortly after WEC 24. But it went from bad to worse as the losses and missed bonus opportunities drove him to inject more and more steroids. After his loss at UFC 73, "The Clown" was forced to return to working children's birthday parties. At only his second gig back he kimura'd a young boy who was unimpressed with his balloon Sean Sherk, shattering his right arm and having to pay heavy restitution in civil court. During the proceedings, Hermes cited confusing the young boy with Kenny Florian, a plausible excuse that the jury misinterpreted as a clear sign of dementia. Hermes was committed to Cedar Sinai and released into the custody of Dana White after a lengthy rehabilitation period.
It's no secret that Hermes "The Clown" Franca used steroids to transform himself from a below average fighter into a slightly below average fighter in late 2005. And really, who could blame him? At that point in his career he had already been cut once from the UFC and was struggling to make ends meet. We here at Pure Huge would never begrudge a guy for trying to feed his family, but we can't help but frown upon those who lack the ability to critically assess their station in life. Granted, Hermes was able to bulk up enough to punch his ticket back into the big show, but the results of his actions proved far too costly.
It started innocently enough. Hermes lost his car keys at UFC 62. He forgot his wife's name shortly after WEC 24. But it went from bad to worse as the losses and missed bonus opportunities drove him to inject more and more steroids. After his loss at UFC 73, "The Clown" was forced to return to working children's birthday parties. At only his second gig back he kimura'd a young boy who was unimpressed with his balloon Sean Sherk, shattering his right arm and having to pay heavy restitution in civil court. During the proceedings, Hermes cited confusing the young boy with Kenny Florian, a plausible excuse that the jury misinterpreted as a clear sign of dementia. Hermes was committed to Cedar Sinai and released into the custody of Dana White after a lengthy rehabilitation period.
The Clown returns to his roots.
Hermes Franca resurfaced earlier this year. According to the handwritten press release that I received in the mail, he was scheduled to fight someone named "Eric Wisely" at "Max Fights DM Ballroom Brawl IV." Suspicious of both opponent and organization, I quickly uncovered the truth. There is no "Eric Wisely." There was no "Ballroom Brawl." Franca made the whole thing up, a complete fabrication constructed inside the mind of a mad clown. What's worse, "official" records show that Franca actually lost the fight. "The Clown" had finally lost (to) his mind, and I can barely muster a chuckle.
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